Leader Spotlight: Sue Thomson

Managing challenging team members: A leader's guide to doing the hard things well.

If you lead a team, sooner or later you’ll face it: that team member.

You know the one always just a little off course, draining the energy from meetings, resisting change, missing deadlines, or quietly chipping away at team morale. Maybe they’re brilliant but difficult. Maybe they’re well-meaning but underdelivering. Either way, they’re challenging and they’re your responsibility.

Great leadership isn’t about avoiding difficult people. It’s about knowing how to engage them, support them, and when necessary… let them go.

Let’s unpack how to do all three.

Step 1: Spot the Red Flags Early

Not every tough day equals a tough team member. But consistent patterns? That’s where you lean in. Here’s what to look for:

• Chronic underperformance – even with support
• Low accountability – everything’s someone else’s fault
• Toxic attitudes – negativity, gossip, eye-rolling in stereo
• Passive resistance – “agreeing” in meetings but never following through
• Skilled but selfish – technically strong, emotionally exhausting

Notice the behaviour, not just the personality. The aim isn’t to micromanage it’s to protect the performance and wellbeing of the wider team.

Step 2: Manage with Clarity (Not Hints and Hopes)

Once you’ve spotted the challenge, engage with it fast, clear, and human. Here’s how:

• Be specific.
Skip the vague feedback. “You need to be more of a team player” won’t cut it. Try: “When you interrupt others in meetings, it shuts down collaboration.”
• Ask, don’t accuse.
Lead with curiosity: “I’ve noticed you’ve missed a few deadlines. Is something going on that we should talk about?”
• Set expectations.
Write them down. Revisit them. Make performance measurable and behavioural. Leave no room for “I didn’t realise.
• Support + accountability = coaching.
Give them a chance to rise but with regular check-ins, not hope and silence.
  Sometimes, people just need a wake-up call and a clear runway. Other times, it reveals deeper misalignment.

Step 3: Know When It’s Time to Move On

You’ve coached. You’ve been fair. You’ve documented. But nothing’s changed or worse, it’s affecting your top performers.

This is the tough bit: it may be time to end the working relationship, but when should you make the call?

• They refuse to grow or adapt.
• Their values clash with the team culture.
• They’re dragging others down.
• You’re spending 80% of your energy managing 20% of their performance.

Letting someone go isn’t cruel. Keeping them and harming the rest of the team is.
If you need to exit someone, do it with:

Dignity – protect their self-respect.
Clarity – no drawn-out drama.
Kindness – firm doesn’t mean cold.

It’s hard. It should be. But it’s also necessary.

Step 4: Build Back Stronger

Tough team members offer more than headaches they offer insight. Use the experience to level up:

• Refine your hiring filters.
• Set expectations earlier and louder.
• Reinforce your culture not just in posters, but in decisions.
• Grow your leadership spine.
  Every challenge is a chance to build a healthier, stronger, more aligned team.

Being a leader isn’t about keeping everyone happy; it’s about helping everyone succeed. And sometimes, the most compassionate thing you can do is make a hard call.

Lead clearly. Lead kindly. Lead bravely.

The right people will thank you for it, and the wrong ones will quietly make room for the ones who belong.

Written by Hosted Aesthetics, The Growth Collective member, and CEO of SJ Partnership, Sue Thomson.